Impulsion. Plus Frustration.

The last weeks have been interesting. I am now horse owner, limited rider. Lady Levad is pleased, that has been the main benefit. Although, I have to say that Polu is working better than ever. That is a benefit. Not for me though.

I am a small bit bitter regarding this small, er, large factual piece of evidence. It's clear that LL and her colleague know what they are doing, no doubt. But I, sit side-lined from atop my dream horse. It is depressing. I contemplate as Polu swiftly moves across the arena with, Mary-ness (the colleague) aboard. He is moving like never before. Flawless 3 tempi's, coming along 2-tempi's and an occasional introduction of the 1 tempi's. Polu is moving through them with more desire and more detail. I feared that this and the crisp-ness of the prioutte's would be the most difficult. I lose impulsion myself when the second-half of the piroutte is about. I cannot get him to power through it, everything seems to fall apart during that last half and we scower out with failure. LL says this is another one of my faults as a rider. I can ask, but I cannot see it through. I'm easily frustrated when it's not perfect. Perfection is limited with horses, as we are always schooling, always working for it, to only find, it never comes without the constant little frustrations and minute details that are just following you like a dark cloud. You accomplish one thing and lose another. It's an art to perfect this type of riding.

I sit with my hands folded on the chair directly next to the ring. I quickly glance at my watch to see it's quarter to five. I should be on my way now, but I just don't quite want to leave Polu. Despite my lack of desire to groom my horse myself (there are a reason why grooms exsist), or attempt to wash his frothy and sweaty mess of a coat post ride, I do like to see him comfortable. I like to know he gets back to his stall with fresh shavings, water and hay as well as an apple or carrot. It's his reward for a job well done, despite my inabilities. It's also peace of mind. Because, I trust little to no-one with my horse. So, I like to make sure for my own eyes, that these details are taken care of. No one has the same desire to see my horse comfortable like I do, it appears. LL feels that a treat is unnecessary and shouldn't be given, despite accomplishments during the ride. They invite spoiling and other naughty behaviors that are not worth our pleasure of feeding our horses "treats."

Here I sit. Mary-ness begins to stretch and cool-out Polu as LL struts over to her side to discuss the ride. Her ever-so loud and demanding voice, with that dramatic accent can be heard clearly where I sit. I listen closely as she compliments the ride and how well the lovely grey horse did under her guidance. She invites her to take Polu on loan and suggests that she continue on to train for the up-coming show.

"You do so well with him. You must continue as he is top level material and you will be a rider to get him there. This is an oppurtunity for you as, Elizabeth is not the rider to achieve that. She will sponsor you to ride him, I am sure. There is no other better option for an owner of a horse like this."

Mary, under the brim of her ball-cap, glances over very quickly in my direction. I pretend to be working on my phone, while in actuality, I am listening intently.

"I would like to, so long as this is what Ms. Massey wants... I just sold my Grand Prix horse off, so this would be a nice horse to work with while I'm bringing up the babies."

I can see a clear smile as LL finishes..

"Good. Elizabeth has no option, she knows the horses potential. She would be very silly not to seek this out. I doubt anyone would respect her decision as horse owner, to continue to ride him herself."

It's in this moment, I am realizing, owning this expensive horse means little to LL. I am mearly an obstacle she must over-come to achieve the status she wants and knows she can with my horse. I feel even more frustrated.

He is my dream horse.